EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: THE ANTI-TELEFLORA FLOWERS

Last year, flower delivery service, Teleflora, made a splash in the Super Bowl with a spot featuring a box of very rude talking flowers. The idea being that you never know what sort of message you’ll send if you use one of those “other” flower companies and their cold, impersonal boxed flowers. Feel free to check out the spot here and at the end of this entry (“Go home to your romance novels and your fat, smelly cat!”).

The trash-talking flowers were so effective at demonstrating the dangers of not choosing Teleflora that the company brought them back for another round in this year’s big game. This time, they’ll be voiced by comedy legend, Don Rickles. We recently scored an exclusive interview with the brash bouquet, which I’m happy to share with you here, even though the interview left me feeling a lot worse than when I started.

SPOTGEEK: Hey, thanks for taking a few moments to hang out with us. We know you must have a busy day of insults to sling and hearts to break.

BOXED FLOWERS: (Burp.)

SPOTGEEK: So what’s your deal? I mean, aren’t flowers supposed to be pleasant and cheerful?

BOXED FLOWERS: What’s MY deal? What’s YOUR deal is more like it. Four years of college, a journalism major, and you’re interviewing a box of flowers? There’s $100,000 down the toilet. Your parents must be so proud.

SPOTGEEK: You’re really going out of your way to make Teleflora’s flowers look good, aren’t you?

BOXED FLOWERS: I don’t need to go out of my way to make Teleflora look good. I’ve got you. Anything looks good compared to you, sunshine. That talking Chihuahua looks like Lassie compared to you. Yes, you’ve got a face made for radio.

SPOTGEEK: Can’t you say ONE nice thing to me? C’mon, just try. I know you can do it.

BOXED FLOWERS: OK. I’ll try. You remind me of my father. If my father was a gorilla (expletive). Whew!! See? I tried. Just can’t do it. Especially when you’re wearing that sweater. Yeech.

SPOTGEEK: I don’t know what happened to you to make you so bitter, but remember — it’s not your fault.

BOXED FLOWERS: You’re right.

SPOTGEEK: Really?

BOXED FLOWERS: It’s YOUR fault.

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